A Game of Her-Os
by MatsuHerO
Summary: Matsu attempts to save Westeros and discovers secrets about it, and himself.


_**NOTE:** I had to add some things because my friends told me to, so if you read an earlier version of this and it seems different that's why. Thank you for reading!_

* * *

Matsu Her-O sat in the media room of the Armageddon Zebra. Ethan Crane was sitting next to him, yelling obscenities at the television, while Pokemaster Terrapin lounged with his Shuckle and read a book. Matsu flipped through the channels, which was partially the reason for the vampire's anger, and landed on _Game of Thrones_. Matsa She-Ro manifested next to him and attempted to put her head on his shoulder, but Matsu moved away nervously.

"This show is the best," said Matsu. "It has everything, but I wish I could help them."

"We are in the Fictosphere," said Matsa. "I mean, you've met Batman and Luke Skywalker and any number of other people. I don't see why you couldn't go to Westeros and help them, but you should really read the books, first."

"Books are unimportant," declared Ethan.

"I agree," said Matsu. Pokemaster Terrapin grunted, in the middle of one of those books. "Anyway, I am going to go to Westeros and just fix everything."

Ethan asked, "Won't that ruin the show? I mean, more than the ending already did? You know what, just have at it."

It was too late. Matsu was already gone.

#

At the Purple Wedding, Joffrey was having a grand time and was planning to have an even grander time later with his new wife, Margery Tyrell. Much better than that traitorous mouse, Sansa, and he was looking forward to breaking her. As he went for his drink, he felt a well-focused energy blast knock it out of his hand. He looked up in shock to see Matsu Her-O standing before him. Joffrey stood and gestured towards him, "Strike that man down! He tried to kill me!"

"If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead," said Matsu. The assembled revelers chuckled nervously. "I saved your life. The wine was poisoned!"

Joffrey gasped. "Who would dare poison me? I'll see them dead!"

Matsu paused for a moment, and then blasted off Joffrey's head. The King's Guard made a move to stop him, but Matsu raised a powerful hand. "Kid was a dick, everyone! You're a lot better off now!"

Margery and Sansa both flocked to Matsu and reached for his muscular arms. He shied away at their attentions. Margery said, "Surely you'll stay and become our new king!"

"You'd be the most just and powerful ruler the Seven Kingdoms have ever seen," added Sansa.

Cersei, who was good at noticing such things, joined them. "Surely a man like yourself would need a queen just as powerful."

Petyr Baelish joined the throng, but before he could say a word, Matsu reached out and snapped his neck. He then took to the air and said, "Trust me, you're a lot better off without him!"

He then returned to the Armageddon Zebra.

#

"You didn't fix squat," said Ethan Crane, still watching the show. "All you did was make the show shorter."

"If you want to fix things, you'd have to go back further," suggested Terrapin, paging through one of the supplemental books. "I think -"

"Got it, gotta kill Joffrey earlier," said Matsu, and off he went.

#

Robert Baratheon, King of the Seven Kingdoms, drank his wine and stalked his prey though the forest. It was a monster of a boar, more than capable of gutting him if Robert wasn't careful, but the king knew this would never come to pass. He was surrounded by people whose sole job was to see him not die. He took a long drought of wine and, suddenly, the monster came crashing through the trees and Robert readied his spear, but it was too late. He readied himself for what would no doubt be a fatal impact, but instead, he heard the cry of his son, Joffrey, as the young man was impaled on the boar's tusk instead. Robert killed the beast and knelt over the body of his son, wondering why this had happened.

"Yo," said Matsu Her-O. "You'll thank me for this later. By the way, he's not your son. Your wife and her brother have been sleeping together."

Robert turned to see the greatest hero Westeros had ever seen standing in the air. Robert knelt, "I will remember that, my hero. Please, stay and celebrate with us."

"I can't," said Matsu. He put his hand to his earpiece. "I have other things to take care of. Things still suck here."

#

It was the end of Robert's Rebellion, and the Lannister bannermen found Princess Elia and her children and prepared to kill them all, but a strong wind arrived, but it wasn't actually a wind, it was Matsu Her-O, and he held his sword aloft and proclaimed, "These people are under my protection!"

Robert Baratheon pushed his way through the throng and shouted, "What is the meaning of this? We need to cut this off at its source!"

Matsu put his hand on Robert's shoulder and shook his head. "Trust me. Just let them go back to Martell or whatever and let them live their lives. Except, wait." He held out a hand and incinerated Viserys. "Okay, happy now? Everything will still work out."

Robert shrugged, "It would be bad to kill a mother and both her children."

Matsu was already gone to fix another problem.

#

Matsu Her-O and Matsa She-Ro appeared in the hallway outside Joanna Lannister's quarters. The guards readied their weapons, but Matsa altered her appearance to that of a mid-wife.

Matsu asked, "Are you sure you can do this?"

"I'm connected to the Internet. I know a lot about birthing babies," replied Matsa. She went into the room and a nervous couple of minutes went by, however long it takes for a baby to get born, and then there was crying and Tywin Lannister opened the door, holding a young dwarf baby.

"Hey, that baby is magic and will bring you power and wealth," said Matsu. "So don't be a jerk to it."

"My wife is alive and I am blessed with a magic son," said Tywin. "This is truly a magnificent day."

"Oh, and don't let your kids sex each other up," said Matsu, and he and Matsa vanished.

#

"Westeros is still screwed up because of that whole winter thing," said Ethan Crane, who had been keeping up with Matsu's progress by watching the show. Terrapin, nearby, had tossed away the book in disgust.

"Damn it," said Matsu. "I'm going to go fix their stupid season cycle and take out the White Walkers."

#

"They're coming!" cried the Brother of the Night's Watch as the White Walkers marched forward. Suddenly, there was a wave of heat and the White Walkers fell, each and every one, and the lands beyond the Wall became pleasant and spring-like. A Ranger looked up and saw a man he knew to be Matsu Her-O, and he shed a tear.

"Winter has finally been banished," said the Ranger, and things were finally good in Westeros.

#

Matsu traveled along the time-line, righting various wrongs. Many people were spared from their fates, and others met theirs far sooner. The Westeros Matsu returned to was far different and better than the one he had left. King Robert reigned next to his wife, Lyanna. Tyrion Lannister was held in some esteem, and Daenerys was to marry Robert's son Tommen when they both came of age. The only other loose end was that of the young man known as Jon Snow, and Matsu traveled to Winterfell with Ethan Crane and Terrapin to rectify this.

Ned Stark welcomed Matsu with open arms. "Is it time, then, Matsu?"

"It is," said Matsu. "Bring me Jon."

Terrapin leaned over to Ethan. "What's going on?"

"Damned if I know," replied the vampire.

Jon was summoned with his dire wolf and he took a knee when he saw Matsu. "My lord," said Snow. "How can I be of service?"

"You know nothing, Jon Snow," said Matsu. "Or should I say… Jon Her-O!"

Suddenly, Jon Snow was engulfed in a corona of energy and he and his wolf became so much more.

"You will join me on my ship," said Matsu. "We have work to do."

Terrapin said, "Wait, is Jon his son, then? How does that work?"

"You're in the wrong place if you're asking that," said Ethan.

Matsu rejoined his comrades as Jon and his wolf left for the ship. "So, what do you think of that? Did I fix it, or did I fix it?"

"You certainly did something," agreed Terrapin.

"We can agree on that," added Ethan.


End file.
